There are days where I wake up super sad, moody, annoyed, hateful and judgmental. I wake up wanting to go back to sleep and never waking back up. I wake up thinking about moments that did not make me happy and joyful, like thinking about how many times I disappointed my parents, my friends, but also myself. Things are way better nowadays, but it was not always the case.

Depression has a lot of faces. It can destroy you when we do not acknowledge this sucking parasite affecting us.

This society pressures us to follow a path already chosen for us. Society wants us to graduate in 4 years, find your lover, get married, buy a house and then have a child. Sounds familiar? I know! But NO, you do not have to follow none of that. Everyone has a different path, some have a kid before buying a house. Others never got a house, but have a business without a degree; and others never went to high school, let alone college. All of this does not mean that you are doing wrong and you will never be happy. I’ve seen people not following the “conventional” way of doing things, and be happier and more successful than someone doing everything “Right”.

Depression is looking back at your past and living in it. It is thinking about what you could have done right without realizing that you have a chance to change it now and change your perception about yourself and the world.

I have gained weight, didn’t fit into my clothes, went from a size Small to a size Large in 3 years. I wasn’t trying to cook healthy , or learn about myself because I kept blaming my surroundings without finding a solution to my weight gain and depression. I was so unhappy on where I was, but mostly I was unhappy with who I was trying to portray to the world, when that was not me.

I’m now a size medium. going to the gym at least 3 times a week, meal prepping, fasting on Monday until 2-4 PM. I cry less, stay in bed less, try to socialize. I also watch inspirational videos, thinking about the root of my issues, trying to find a solution and move on.

Don’t ever let someone tell you that you can’t be depressed because of where you come from; that you just need a prayer and everything will be fine. Don’t ever let someone tell you that you shouldn’t feel the way you do. Don’t ever let someone say that depression is not a thing, because it is. However, check your surroundings: are you around toxic people? Are you true to yourself? and who do you wanna be and how to work towards it.

Rome was not built in just one day. You will not change in just one day. But you have to see what are the issues affecting you, find the root cause and work on it (Don’t pressure yourself).

They say an habit is developed in 21 days. So work on yourself everyday, all the time, and if you fail today, brush it off, and start again tomorrow.